"YOU KNOW A SHOOTING STAR IS JUST DEBRIS, BUT WE STILL FIND THEM BEAUTIFUL, RIGHT?
WELL DOES THAT MEAN WHATEVER’S LEFT OF US, HEARTBREAK AFTER HEARTBREAK, IS STILL BEAUTIFUL?"
dear you,
there's not really much to say any more. we had a good run that at times was amazing and at times was awful but it was ours and i learnt a lot from it but that's not how it is any more and i'm alright with that. i wish i felt more confident with knowing that we're properly friends, not just two people who say they're going to meet up and do something but never do. it's the biggest shock going from being so close to being close to nothing at all. there's so much i would love to talk about with you, so much stuff that's happened, not even massive stuff, just the little day to day stuff and i've tried to kind of keep you in the loop with loads of my random crap but in the end, i begin to just feel like a complete loser who is bugging you and that's not really very fair cos all i want to do is be friends with you. i guess it'd be different if you would just turn around and say to me 'it'd probably be for the best if we weren't friends' or something along those lines, but you say you want to be friends as well so i guess that's just what i'm trying to do.
looking back now, there's loads of things that i wish i could change, loads of things that i wish i'd done differently but i can't do that so there's not really much point. all i've ever wanted was the best for you and that still remains how i feel now. when we broke up, i hit a proper low point but at the same time, underneath all the madness, i was completely calm because i knew that it was the end and i knew i had to learn to accept that and i've accepted it now and i know you're better off as you are, i'm better off as i am, we're better off this way. no matter what happens, i'll never regret what we went through together and i take back what i said before, if i could go back and change any of it, i don't actually think i would because everything that happened has had such a huge influence on me becoming the person i am today, i guess that underneath it all, you have had a huge influence on me becoming the person i am today.
you changed my life and i'll never, ever forget you.
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